"Everybody told me it was really friendly and it would be easy to make friends, but I struggle socially," Hazel tells the BBC. The knowledge about your family communication and behavior will give you insights about what’s going on. My mom who is my best friend/only friend is super outgoing and talkative and every time she talks to someone I'm just so confused on how she does it and she just tells me to "just do it" but I just can't. WTF? You end up isolating yourself more than you need to because you're not sure how to do anything about it.". You’re already hired, come on.”. "It doesn't mean you are not capable of doing anything, we are all learning new things every day.". Rather than simply talking to others and putting all my effort into upholding a conversation, in the hope of establishing some connection, I told people how I was feeling. How to get things done professionaly at work when I'm very depressed? Meetup is ok only if you are doing an activity like board games. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. When you pass by others (who will probably have their heads down), greet them. You have a limited amount of time – spend it with pleasure. Sometimes you earnestly wonder if you have any friends and if so, where the fuck did they go? Try going back to school or getting a job or doing a regular hobby that includes seeing strangers. “I don’t do anything fun,” you tell them sheepishly. I have 2 Narcissists parents . Thank you. The question that you’ve just asked yourself was your fear. I mean it. I am 33 from Eastern Europe. I opened it and YEP indeed this describes my life 6 months after graduating, every single […], Reblogged this on The Truth Behind The Smile and commented: You don't need friends to have a good life. How do I keep myself from getting to attached to people? Spending too much time on depression/social anxiety/other comorbid disorders doesn't help much either. Just be yourself and get a cat :). (And Other Concerns), How To Build A Social Life When You Dont Have Any Friends | Over Shyness. Press J to jump to the feed. I have no job, no money, no social status, no girlfriend (never approached a girl ever in my life because of my status). If you no longer have friends because they've moved on, or you've moved away, then you might want to start by establishing a new social life based around your interests. I've overcome most of my social anxiety after nearly 13 years of horror. Get out there and make new friends, life is all about adventures. I really want new people I can be close to, but it doesn't happen just like that and I guess you can't force it. But, my situation doesn’t allow me to do that because I am the only son and I have to take care of them. Don’t fool yourself. The highlight of your day is a full DVR of unwatched TV shows and takeout food. You would never find that in my country.". Try new food. Wake the fuck up. :). And we will meet up with another one in a few days, so maybe that will make 2 of them. Trace the scars life has left you. 34 year old male here recently living with parents again after living with my ex gf for about 1.5 years. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. You’re being heavily controlled. I'm the same way. Whether it's approaching someone you're attracted to or if it's giving a presentation in class, everyone gets a little nervous at times. Obviously, there is a system, and it’s up to you to figure out all the dots of the system. Here is the deal. You scan your brain for people to hang out with and can’t think of any. Dude, that's fucking awesome. Go find someone else with no friends. I feel like I typed these comments myself. You still spend entire days in bed except this time you don’t talk about it because it’s embarrassing and because we live in a culture that prides being busy. In your family, every initiative gets highly critiqued and any question gets answered with an exclamative “I don’t know!” or simply ignored. President-elect Joe Biden phones foreign leaders as Donald Trump vows to win a challenge against his victory. Good for you for putting yourself out there. I’m trying from a long time. I feel like a trap and it broke my heart when in this age I should be in a position to support my family, be a family man and enjoy. As soon as you get your life back to normal you can start thinking about helping your family. Some, how I’m also the victim of this because the environment affected me and still affecting me badly. Also just doing things you like can help, like if you like reading start going to the library more to do your reading. Here you are. "The people I lived with were friendly but not the kind of friends you trust and tell everything on your mind. I'm finally starting to think that maybe I actually just want to be a lone wolf. You still spend entire days in bed except this time you don’t talk about it because it’s embarrassing and because we live in a culture that prides being busy. Dont give up on life just yet. I feel like it’s completely written on my life because honestly and seriously i ‘TRAPPED With Parents: Depressed, NO Job, NO Friends, NO Social Life. The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. let’s face it :). 8. Your email address will not be published. I’m going through some emotional sh*t right now and this really cheered me up! I did things for her & the family but I belittled & shame. I knew I had to take proactive steps if I wanted to become the person I wanted to be. And together, we will change our lives and the lives of our families for the better! People are evil by nature. Having no friends can happen when your life changes, when you move, or when you go through something that no one else gets. You, have also written that waiting for a call and a girl which will never happen. When I don’t pick up the phone or miss the call she gets very stressed and angry and then abuses me, My mother acts strangely as if she had some kind of sexual intention towards me, My grandmother spies on me, she also digs through my things regularly, My mother says that when she sees me eating/working then she believes me, When the whole family gathers they tell old stories about me, who I was, etc., as if to show off how good I am or used to be. Seek friends, learn to love yourself, leave the past that hurts. I've determined that I need to go out and find new friends now, but that's really hard. Limit your time on these kinds of sites. It's nice to know I'm not the only one struggling with this. They are the best kind because they will never betray you. Also, if I share with people they just run away and don’t care. I loved the reality gut check of “wake the fuck up” because nothing in life is spoon fed. QUESTION: I have a problem that has been ongoing for my entire life: I have no friends.Well, let me restate that: I have no friends who keep in … I found that the only way to do so was to take some risks with how I interacted with others. Getting good at something helps depression become less intense and can distract you from lonelyness. The loneliness, she explains, "came later". I want to have house to live separate from my family because i feel terrible. If human friends don’t work for you, well, there’s no reason why furry friends can’t as well. Its a difficult path for sure, but its been worth it so many times over. Walk. Yes, my mistakes, my problems and only I will suffer and solve. For example, if your mom wants you to call 3 times a day – do it. Do not be afraid to pursue your dreams. “You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Don't get me wrong. The change eventually came when she realised she was pregnant. Don't take a camera. How can I open up to people more even if it scares me? I just don't like indulging so much in friendships, and I think i'm just like that, and I should maybe embrace that fact a bit more and do things I like without feeling shameful for not being social about it. You do have a life you just have to find your purpose so you can work towards it, just remember suicide is never an option. Try making new friends, build new relationships and create new memories. "I liked the people, they were always smiling, even strangers when you passed them in the city centre they would stop and say hello. I believe in that, maybe you dont notice it or you may not see it but believe me there is always one person who loves you and cares for you. I'm sure most people wouldn't turn down a concert with the tickets already bought. How do I help explain to a parent that what I feel is valid after they reacted badly? I’m 40 and have been back living with my parents for 3 years as they need care help. I think part of the core problem is that my inner desire is to NOT be around people so much, but I'm just afraid I will someday be completely alone and not have a single soul that cares about what happens to me, and no one I care about myself. I feel sad a lot, unmotivated, and I often can't stop crying for many hours. Failing that, go alone. Explore. You tell people that it doesn’t take much to make you happy but you neglect to mention that it’s because not much is going on in your life. There must be someone in your life that you can ask to go. window.mc4wp.listeners.push( Simona Vararniute, 27, moved to Belfast from Lithuania aged 20, and for the first six months, she was happy.
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