I am extremely burned out and don't know what to do. Seconding a lot of this. comments. Funny how she's going from overbearing parents to overbearing boyfriend. oh really? There is a book written by Dr. Van Epp entitled How to Avoid Falling in Love with a ****. She's super dependent on me and at times she seems clingy. Typically speaking, if you file Married Filing Jointly, then her parents cannot claim her as a dependent. :/, [â]Tollin74 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children). Life experience makes all the difference in the world. The younger one is able to do as she pleases, within reason. Please advise. Independence is part of maturity. Also, I meant for her to move near me. Although we are not together like yourselves my 31M has tried and tried, and subsequently failed to get me to agree to go out with him. Its so bad though, that she will go to the grocery store with her mom, but not for us. I've tried everything I could think of. Yes. she felt that even though i was able to make her happy, she has been too dependent on me and she does not like that. Donât ask permission. Congratulations! At least the family accepts you for the most part, so you are not as bad off as some people are. Once I forced my parents to see me as an adult they started treating me like one. Although I'm sure they would have allowed me to date a man in his 30s, they would have likely been very cautious about it too - it's all fine and good to say that you two (OP) have a mature relationship and whatever, but the fact is that you're a grown man who is nearly a decade older than their daughter and they KNOW you're plowing her. They normally do their best within their limitations to tutor you to live for yourself and others, just as they lived for you. What has she said regarding being more independent? Even if she did move to be with you, she would feel horrible about going against her parents. She's a bit bitter when it comes to men. I'm just suggesting that she could move to the same area as me. I don't know anyone who had to get their boyfriend to help them understand the research for their own thesis. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you're a bad guy or whatever but it sounds like her folks aren't as unconcerned by the age gap as you, and are trying to protect their daughter. Frustration and loneliness from lack of social interaction. The point is, free rent, suck it up and follow the rules. 1. you can give her a nudge in the right direction and give her advice but that may either push her away, OR may take much longer than you'd anticipate for her to be able to do- keep in mind she's already 22 and is still agreeing to house rules that most normal parents lift after the age of 12. tread lightly, and decide how long you're willing to wait for her. I do not want to say that they are controlling for a couple of reasons. I understand that this could backfire so use your best judgment in dealing with her parents. My boyfriend is 28 years old. She needs to establish her independence if she wants to do as she pleases. People are constantly changing. Or at least more able to take what their parents say as suggestions, not the law... [â]paintedLady318 15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (0 children). The age difference is meaningful, especially considering the situation. I even told her to get a job so that she can pay for food and help pay for fun things. Another issue with dealing with her parents is that it might be better not to ask permission and just tell them what she/you/both of you are doing, even if they donât like it. Look deeply inside of yourself to find the person you are so that you csn live out your calling. I should just accept the situation at face value and allow things to happen in their own time. By entering this site you declare She's putting it down because you expect her to just uproot herself without thinking about the serious consquences that come with that. I donât have friends I trust no one except my boyfriend, weâve been together for 2 years now almost three and I But I married a woman who truly loved me and embraced reasonable change and compromise. When I glanced at the title for this I genuinely thought this could be about me...but I was pleased to learn it wasn't! When I was 22 I certainly took my parents advice under consideration but since I was in my own apartment and made sure to get financial ties cut (none of the bs like oh I am paying them for my cell phone but it's in their name) I was free to ignore it. There are many signs. So please, the "find someone your own age" responses are not that helpful. She often stays out quite late (for her age), even until after midnight (like I said, for her age). There are puzzle-pieces missing! What about college? EDIT: Forgot to mention, 22 year olds are supposed to act like adults, but as someone who is 22 who has just graduated from university with many other 22 year olds...I can assure you that this isn't really that case. The goal is to focus on yourself. I understand the situation, but this still doesn't keep me from feeling like I'm just someone on a back burner. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else youâre worried about. Visit INSIDER's homepage for more. I didnt really contribute to this thread and was just defending myself. What do I do when my girlfriend doesnt like my parents? Im 32 dating a 23 yr old. Girlfriend overly dependent, needy, always complaining about being ill etc. It made my dad uncomfortable. I hear what what you're saying but I take a little offense. Twitter. How do you think this is so novel? If your bf doesn't know how you really feel, he may misinterpret the situation. That's the problem with these threads. Her answer? We broke off the engagement because she didn't want to change. In your OP, you don't even mention a) what your girlfriend wants. [â]fire_dreamer 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children). We (my mom, niece, me) have tried to talk to her about this, and she goes into a rage if we try to tell her she needs to move on w/out her sson; get her own place, he needs to get hisâ¦itâs not healthy for a 32 year old guy to still live with mom! But her mom kept needing to be needed. If they do, there is a problem. Sorry, but this will NOT change. I figured they were immigrants. Benefits For Your Spouse. Wait, have you two ever spent a night together???? A 32 year old shouldn't share the same maturity as a 23 year old. My friend had to sneak out just to see her boyfriend because he parents are very old fashioned and don't want her to be seen out with a boy. Iâve mentioned before that my parents donât allow me to spend the night with my boyfriend but they were ok with the trip for 2 reasons. But there needs to be balance. No, an individual may be a dependent of only one taxpayer for a tax year. [â][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (22 children), [+]leetdood 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (21 children). I went through a similar situation while I was engaged and first married (parents still treating me like a teenager who had to check in). Yeah. [+]Brad_Wesley 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children). I've tried to stress to her that she's an adult college graduate and that it doesn't seem right that she should stay away from someone she says she hopes to marry because her parents don't like the idea of her going away to school. it's kind of a huge deal to buck cultural rules like that, and may not be worth that huge headache for her if things are alright now. Her sister is 40 years old, divorced and with a 5 year old child and a new boyfriend. As will you. I wish u both a happy marriage.. Its funny because i came accross ur question in trying to find help with my own situation which is exactly like ur fiancee. most likely the parents have a reason in their mind.). We have a pretty good relationship despite the age difference. Like another commenter said on another thread; these things boil down to a simple choice: financial support or being independent. You probably spend a lot of your time together, and heâs the first one you tell when something exciting happens. Please report comments that you feel are in violation of these guidelines to keep discussions constructive. She is disabled and receives SSI benefits. (b) Accept her lack of independence and work around it. I always had to tell them where I was going and give them a timeframe about how long I was going to be gone if it was after hours. Parents bring us into the world, naturally to grow up and become self sufficient. I do not want to say that they are controlling for a couple of reasons. [+][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children). Adult children who remain overly dependent on their parents often are allowed to ⦠I call her everyday. My mom claimed me as a disabled adult dependent on her taxes and My mom is my paid caregiver and I only have back child support as a income which is usually just whenever here and there . The question becomes, are the parents stifling the development of the child? This is a good thing that needs to happen. If they are the kind that would shun her for making a bold move then this isnât the way to go. It truly sux that I am unable to qualify for a stimulas payment when individuals that are disabled and struggling without any income canât get aid or money due to the pandemic crisis .
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