Perhaps if you can ever self-reflect enough you might discover your own motivations and be able to steer your life in a different direction. This piece is very interesting to me, mostly because it seems to be another version of a pretty recognizable childhood game. “It was as if the fact that I was born on that day was objective proof that I was just a bad egg,” Anna recalled. This piece was recited to me by my informant in reference to their childhood and elementary school memories. In this respect, the game is almost pushing one to abandon their original culture in order to adapt, as many of these students were the children of Mexican immigrants who were attempting to make ends meet in a new culture. This is an exceptional book by Mary O’Hara that takes the reader on a journey of understanding about how those who experience the hardships of poverty are portrayed. You don’t measure up. In my opinion, this is a reflection of the fear of authority and programs like ICE, for Spanish-speaking immigrants. It was given by her husband. To the degree that religions have made up standards by which all people should comply, we tend to add not only shame but blame to the game. Anna’s narcissistic mother regularly shamed her in a variety of ways. So contextually in 2019, this innocent ‘shame shame shame’ clapping/rhyming game … But we don’t tend to notice it in the everyday interactions with our children, our spouses, our families, and our friends. Shame and blame are games that everyone loses. Her mother had often told her she was a “woeful child” because she was born on a Wednesday, based on an old nursery rhyme. My platform in no way is intended to misrepresent. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam.
Andrea Mathews, LPC, NCC, is a cognitive and transpersonal therapist, internet radio show host, and the author of Letting Go of Good: Dispel the Myth of Goodness to Find Your Genuine Self. If, for example, people call him a nerd often enough, and he allows himself to own that, telling others that he is a nerd, the more he will identify as that and act out it’s projected characteristics. Before there was Anna Kendrick’s song “Cups,” there was the cup game. This is not what my mother wanted to hear, and she would tell them they did not really know who I was in private. Going through this horrible part of my life has definitely made me want to reach out to others who may think they’ alone, but I wasn’t sure how to. Thank you for this new layer of revealing insight into the twisted mindf*&k that is the parenting of an NPD. Dissect the feelings and their source and separate that from your identity. I wish you well. Now in her 40s with children of her own, Anna recently unearthed a deep shame she had carried from early childhood. By planting shame in other people, narcissists in essence install a button they can press at any time to manipulate and punish those they seek to control. Do you have any strategies for dealing with this type of behaviour, please? Being fundamentally ashamed of themselves, people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are experts at playing the shame game with those around them.
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